Paying a Visit to Menards

Menards is a shady Minnesota hardware store that is a magnet for all of the back-woods rednecks up here. My dad sent me there to get his office keys copied. This is the "my family tree is a straight line" club headquarters. Anyway, there was little old me at the key counter in my skirt and cardigan, looking around the place, observing "the show." I was waiting for a beady-eyed, overweight, red-headed guy (whose uniform looks like every day he thows it on the floor after work and then, the next day, picks it up from the same spot to put it on before work), to finish copying my dad's keys. I was surrounded by men and women alike, sporting mullets of all shapes and sizes, dirty clothes with holes, lots of stubble and dirt on their bodies, sweat stains, horrendous accents, etc... When Big Red was finally done, I bolted out of there. But, as I was fleeing the store, I noticed the guy in front of me had a shirt on that said "Kountry Kousins" with a picture of a country/woodsy man who was body wrestling with his donkey--legs and everything intertwined. This state should be called "the Land of 10,000 Red-Necks, not 10,000 Lakes.